


Let The Aliens Take Oikawa

by AgapantoBlu



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Don't Be Fooled By The Title, Future Fic, M/M, Mentioned KyoHaba, Oikawa Tooru's Birthday, There are no aliens here, happy birthday oikawa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-20
Updated: 2016-07-20
Packaged: 2018-07-25 16:21:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7539532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgapantoBlu/pseuds/AgapantoBlu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oikawa comes back home from Tokyo for summer break and gets abruptly kidnapped. Either aliens have great arms and an annoying sense of humor or Iwaizumi, Matsukawa and Hanamaki are planning something.</p>
<p>If he's going to die anyway, at least now he can do it knowing he has touched Hajime's butt.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>
  <i>“I will be very disappointed if these are not aliens, I’ll let you know!” he managed to mph after swallowing a good bite of the bread in his mouth. He could hear a snort and two different giggles even with all the noise of cars running to his right and people’s whispering to his left. “Wait, we’re out?!, in the streets?! What the hell, at least use your UFO! I won’t stand for anything less than a UFO!”</i>
</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>20th of July 2016 - Happy Birthday Oikawa Tooru</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let The Aliens Take Oikawa

 

**_Let The Aliens Take Oikawa_ **

 

Oikawa was a good person. He had good grades, he helped his mom at home, he was always polite to Iwa-chan’s parents and to all his fangirls. Okay, well, sometimes he could be a little childish (but Tobio deserved it) and maybe a bit annoying (but Iwa-chan’s frown was funny), but still it didn’t justify a  _kidnapping._

He didn’t deserve that! He had just been in his room, headphones on his head and knees to his chest with arms firmly wrapped around them, eyes wide open and fixed on the PC screen replaying once more the Aobajousai VS Karasuno match. And yes, maybe pushing the blade into that wound was growing closer to an unhealthy obsession than to a constructive way to improve himself, but still. Having a milk bread pushed in his mouth and pillow-case shoved on his head before being manhandled on someone’s shoulder and brought away who knew where was a bit too drastic of a punishment!

“I will be very disappointed if these are not aliens, I’ll let you know!” he managed to mph after swallowing a good bite of the bread in his mouth. He could hear a snort and two different giggles even with all the noise of cars running to his right and people’s whispering to his left. “Wait, we’re out?!, in the streets?! What the hell, at least use your UFO! I won’t stand for anything less than a UFO!”

Another snort and the person carrying him made him bounce just enough for him to hit his stomach against a sturdy shoulder, ripping a little -  _not girly_  - squeak out of him.

He would recognize those muscles anywhere, not to mention there were just three idiots he knew would be willing to kidnap him in broad daylight, in his own house, with his mother’s “Have fun, guys!” following them with far too much excitement, but still he kept up the aliens pretense. And for a very good reason.

Oikawa was a smart person; really, he came short of being a genius, and only because he was too busy playing volleyball to bother with his studies. Still, in all his smartness it had happened - no more than a couple of times, though, really! - that he took some hazarded decision, like not telling the coach his knee was hurting him or overworking himself or spending nights after nights watching matches to expose other teams’ weakness; little things, in the end. But every one of those little things usually ended up with an  _Intervention._

The  _Intervention_  was usually Iwa-chan beating him to a pulp, and that was not pleasant at all for as much as he may love his best friend’s arms -  _seriously, those arms,_ that were actually around his waist and under his stomach in that very moment -. If other people, namely Hanamaki and Matsukawa for sure, were involved, this time it would probably be ten times worse. 

He was so  _not_  looking forward to it. He also considered calling for help a couple of times, but if he got Iwa-chan into jail just to escape his scolding he was better off burying himself altogether because he would surely get killed.

Thus, Plan B: Distract Them With Aliens. Yes, Oikawa was a genius.

“Alien-chan, you brute!” he pretended to complain, trashing a bit in the grip but actually clinging to his carrier’s shirt. “I’m getting crumbles all over my hair here!”

“What a disgrace,” someone muttered, but with a forcibly deepened voice that made it hard to tell if it was Hanamaki or Matsukawa. Oikawa pouted anyway.

“It is!,” he retorted. “It’s a waste if you take one of the finest exemplar of human beauty just to have him all disheveled!”

Someone giggled but the sound passed them by and went on its path, letting Oikawa know they were probably putting up quite a show with their antics and his appearance. Oh, whatever, it’s not like he’d stay in Miyagi for long more, after all.

He barely finished his thought before stiffening abruptly.  _Tokyo_ , right. He was going back to Tokyo soon. He had already been there since March, courses starting in April, and he had finally come back home now, in summer break, just to be told that all his friends hadn’t time to meet up ‘till the following week. He had kind of smelled the lie - Iwa-chan literally lived in the house beside his and he didn’t have time to see him?! Tooru called bullshit on that as soon as he read the message and his mom had laughed at his pout for a good hour - but still it felt kind of warm to have them all invading his house just on a whim.

Relaxing slightly, he ran his hand down the back of Iwaizumi’s shirt and he smiled a bit, glad to be hidden by the pillow-case, in feeling it slightly damp in sweat. Well, Oikawa was slim but he was still a big university student more than six feet tall, he was bound to weight something.

_As expected from Iwa-chan’s bara arms_ , he commented to himself, chuckling slightly at the memory of his best friend’s evil grin during his long career of arm wrestling.

“Uh? Did he die? It’s been an whole two minutes since he last spoke.” Hanamaki, the bastard.

“Maybe he choked on the milk bread,” Matsukawa offered in a bored tone, completely unhelpful.

“It would be about time.”

Tooru rolled his eyes when Iwaizumi’s grumpy voice joined the chorus, his words in contrast with the way his free arm had moved to touch his back, checking for his breathing.

With the awkward position, though, Oikawa’s shirt had rolled up a bit and Hajime’s big hand caressed the subtle inches of skin just above the hem of his shorts - his  _purple_  with  _green_  aliens’ heads shorts, gods, how could his friends carry him around dressed up like that?!, how could he still call them friends?! -. The contact was warm, the roughness of volleyball callouses against the softness of a pale spine, and it messed up with Tooru’s thoughts quite a bit.

_No, no, no, no, no!_ , he bit his tongue, hard. He couldn’t pop a boner right there, against Iwaizumi’s shoulder, his friend would notice for sure! There had been some close calls in the past, but Oikawa had been great in shoving all the clues under a carpet before Hajime’s brain could collect them; he could  _not_  ruin everything now!  _Focus, Tooru! Your naked grandma! Makki and Mattsun doing it on your futon! Kyouken-chan licking Yahaba-chan’s throat! Kunimi…does Kunimi even have enough energy for sex drive? Poor Kindaichi. Is everybody on my stupid team gay?!_  He frowned, counting for a second. _Maybe Watacchi is not._

“He chocked.”

“He definitely chocked.”

“RIP Shittykawa. Shall we detour and make a run for the cemetery?”

“Technically speaking, we killed him, Iwaizumi. We cannot just take him to a cemetery.”

“Takahiro is right, we could get arrested. We should hide his body in the woods.” 

“I know a place with a lot of bugs.”

The word ‘ _bugs’_  was enough to make Oikawa shiver, memories of long afternoons spent chasing - with a safe distance - after Iwaizumi just to then run away from him as the bastard tried to lay his stupid preys on his hair.

“Iwa-chan, you bully!” Oikawa acted on instinct, just to stiffen, pale, sweat and bite his lower lip, eyes wide open as the echo of a clap filled his mind. 

He was going to die. He was  _so going to die_ , he realized when Iwaizumi stopped moving abruptly and even Matsukawa and Hanamaki shut up. Why won’t the aliens come and get him?! Let the aliens take him!

On a brighter note, he got to smack Hajime’s butt before dying and he could say it was just as firm as it looked in volleyball shorts. One regret less.

“ _You bastard_ -…!”

“Oh, we’re here!” 

Oikawa released a breath he hadn’t know he had been holding when Makki’s cheerful voice filled the air and the two other guys forced Iwaizumi to resume walking, probably pulling and pushing him. Then he kind of remembered he had been kidnapped and had no idea what was going to happen to him - beside homicide, because, really, Iwaizumi was not going to forget he had spanked him in the middle of the street in broad daylight, how could he?! -.

“Wait, where’s  _here_?!” he demanded to know, his voice maybe slightly high pitched, but his answer was another bounce that most definitely bruised his stomach.

“Not so full of yourself now, uh, Oikawa Tooru?”

“Mattsun, if you’re trying to sound intimidating, please, stop it. You’re embarrassing.”

Their bantering was stopped by Hanamaki’s voice smoothly talking someone, a girl apparently, into letting them reach their “booked seats” despite their  _peculiar_ comrade.

“Nothing to worry about, people!” Oikawa exclaimed sarcastically, “I’m perfectly fine and having  _so much fun_!”

“You sure seemed to when you were fondling Iwaizumi’s ass, right, Issei?”

“I did not!”

“Makki is right, Captain, you’re a pervert.”

“I’m not your captain anymore!”

“So you admit you’re a pervert.”

“Poor Iwaizumi, being defiled in such a brutal way, nonetheless in public! It must have been so awful!”

“Do you want to talk about it, Iwaizumi? You know we love you no matter what, right?”

“I know I’m killing all you three as soon as we’re out sight. And I’m burying  _you-,_ ” Oikawa yelped when he was bounced on his friend’s shoulder once more, “-in a worms’ nest. I’ll find the place with the most worms I can find and abandon your body there to be eaten by them.”

“IWA-CHAN, THAT’S TOO MUCH!”

The giggles around them had increased and apparently even the girl Hanamaki had talked with had decided they weren’t dangerous people in the middle of a crime but just a bunch of idiots. She gave them some indications that Oikawa found completely unhelpful to find out where he was and then they were moving again.

At a certain points, they found stairs. Oikawa wrapped his arms around Iwaizumi’s waist from behind crying the whole time that he didn’t want to die, please,  _Iwa-chan, don’t drop me!_ , and finally, finally, Tooru felt himself being lifted from his friend’s shoulder, even if just to be dropped unceremoniously on what seemed to be an armchair. A very rigid armchair that smelled like pop-corns.

Oikawa’s eyes lit even before the pillow-case was lifted from his head and he was met with Hanamaki’s, Matsukawa’s and Iwaizumi’s impassive faces.

“Stop that.”

“For real.”

“That smile is creepy, Trashikawa.”

“MEAN! SO MEAN, ALL OF YOU!” but he was laughing as Makki fished the remnants of his milk bread from the pillowcase and threw it at him. He caught it and stole a big bite from it, a content expression on his face, as his friends rolled their eyes and took their seats beside his, Iwa to his right and the other two to his left.

The big screen of the cinema was already showing the advertisements for future film releases, but Oikawa ignored them to expectantly running his eyes back and forth among his friends.

The last time they had gone to the cinema, it had been before the beginning of their last tournament of High School. Matches, exams, moving and so on had made sure they couldn’t organize a single hang-out with the all of them after that, or at least none long enough to allow them to fit an whole film in. It was exciting.

“So?!” he finally asked when the three kept on ignoring his obvious attitude, “What are we watching?!”

“Okay, guys, which one of you gave him candies?,” Hanamaki snorted at Matsukawa’s Mom Voice, “I thought we had agreed that sugar makes him hyperactive.”

“What am I, five years old?!”

“Barely.”

“IWA-CHAN!”

Oikawa pouted as Iwaizumi pushed him with his elbow, Matsukawa faking his disappointment as he pulled crumbles out of his hair ignoring the way he was crushing Hanamaki into Tooru’s arm. They only stopped when a group of girls walked in and sat right behind them, but it was a mere precaution not to be thrown out. Also, the film would probably start soon, so they settled themselves comfortably.

Not that Oikawa could stay still and silent for even a minute, before the film started.

“Makki, seriously, what are we watching?” he whispered, playing the puppy eyes card now that the lights were still on and he could.

Hanamaki shrugged.

“Something with aliens,” he relented, smiling when he saw Oikawa’s face lighting up like a stupid Christmas tree. “You should thank Iwaizumi, he paid for your ticket. Issei will pay for your dinner later and I bought you a gift.”

Takahiro had known Tooru for a while now, so he could recognize easily the blush on his cheeks for what it was. So, definitely not gratitude embarrassment.

“Don’t worry,” he added then, stealing a glance at Hajime, too busy turning his phone off to realize he was object of a conversation. “He blushed all the way up to his ears when you touched his ass and he looked very smug when we said you looked happy of what you had found down there.” 

“MAKKI!”

“Shittykawa, for fuck’s sake! Tone it down!”

Tooru pouted, but sat properly, not without crossing his arms in front of his chest and sticking his tongue out at his best friend. He swore he could see a vein popping up on Iwaizumi’s forehead, so he turned his attention to the screen rapidly, glad that the lights were going out.

He most definitely  _did not expect_  Hajime to lean on him and bring his mouth barely a inch from his poor ear. He could feel the blush spreading, and not only upward.

“You better enjoy the film,  _Tooru_ ,-” He gulped, trying to calm down,  _calm the fuck down, Tooru, he called you Tooru, let’s not lose our head, okay?!,_ “-because as soon as we’re out of here, I’m killing you.”

_Oh._

“That’s so mean, Iwa-chan!” he hissed back, maybe a bit differently from the usual because Iwaizumi sent him a weird look. But he ignored it, staring back at the screen.

Hajime dared to  _sigh_ , beside him, and Oikawa’s sulk intensified as the light turned off completely and the film started.

 

 

Ten minutes in and Tooru frowned. Not that he was complaining but…

“Makki?”

Hanamaki turned, kind of reluctantly, to arch a brow at his whisper. “What?”

“This is Ghostbusters.”

“Yeah, and?”

“THERE AREN’T ALIENS IN GHOSTBUSTERS, MAKKI, ARE YOU THAT IGNORANT FOR REAL?!”

“Goddammit, Shittykawa!”

“WELL, SUCK IT UP, OIKAWA, THAT’S WHAT WE’RE WATCHING!”

“Takahiro.”

 

 

They didn’t get kicked out of the cinema probably just because everybody who had seen their spectacular entry was expecting something weird from them. 

And because the girl at the reception had a soft spot for them. Oikawa made sure to smile and wave at her on their way out and she flushed crimson red realizing what beauty had been hidden under the pillow case.

“I swear, from now on you’re only allowed to hang out with us with something covering your face,” Matsukawa stated, Hanamaki nodding approvingly just beside him, but Iwaizumi grunted.

“Like hell I’m carrying his ass around again,” he declared, glaring at Tooru in a way that made him stiffen and cold sweat. “You’re fucking heavy, dumbass.”

“Iwa-chan, that’s extremely rude! It’s not my fault  _I_ am tall!”

The usual vein popping out again on Hajime’s forehead made Makki and Mattsun laugh as Tooru sprinted to hide behind them.

 

 

They ate at the restaurant they used to go to with the team after tournaments. It was a bit nostalgic, but they started reminiscing and by the time they were done talking about ‘That Time When Kunimi Finally Explained to Kindaichi Why Karasuno Called Him Turnip-Head’, they had tears in their eyes for how hard they were laughing.

“He-… He was  _dead set_  in shaving his hair after that!” Oikawa tried to breath as he spoke, his forehead smashed against the table.

“Leave the poor kid alone, you were all ganging up on him!” Iwaizumi offered, but he was smiling too.

Tooru turned his head, without lifting it though, to stare at him with a devilish smile. “Iwa-chan, always the underclassmen’s paladin.”

“Someone had to take care of them,” Matsukawa added. “After all, they had  _you_  as their first captain.”

“Hey!”

“Speaking of which,-” Iwaizumi frowned, deep in thinking. “How’s Yahaba doing? I talked to Kindaichi and he told me Kyoutani is the new ace. They never got along much, I’m a bit worried ab-  _what’s with those faces now_?!”

Oikawa shared an unimpressed look with the other two, who simply shook their heads at him in commiseration. He sighed, knowing he had been given the burden to enlighten his oblivious best friend.

“Iwa-chan, if Tetsu-chan were here, he would say you’re denser than Osmium,” he stated, swearing to never let Kuroo, that he had used one of his stupid chemistry puns outside their shared room at the dorm. “Yahaba and Kyoutani are dating. Have been since after the match against Karasuno.”

Iwaizumi’s face was priceless and Oikawa was glad Hanamaki had been fast enough to steal a picture of it. He had to have it.

Finally, Hajime recovered. 

“What?! It’s not possible!”  _Don’t do it._  Oikawa froze, terrified of the possible straight out refusal of homosexuality, and he noticed Makki and Mattsun seemed surprised and a bit edgy too. “They were fighting on the court just that day! They always fought! I had to go separate them once because Kyoutani had slammed Yahaba against a wall behind schoo-…! Oh.”

At first came relief and for a moment Oikawa just blinked; but then, once a voice in his head reminded him that that was his Iwa-chan, the grumpy man with the biggest heart he had ever known, he was free to take in Hajime’s realization with an howling laughter.

“Oh. My. Gosh.”

“Iwaizumi, you bring shame to your Paladin of the Underclassmen title.” Hanamaki shook his head. “Cockblocking young lovers, you really are cruel.”

“I bet you’re the reason Kyoutani was so pissed at the end of the field trip after the exams,” Matsukawa added, and nobody was surprised when Iwaizumi gaped.

“I thought they had gotten lost! They were in the woods behind the onsen! It was plausible!”

“No, it wasn’t!”

 

 

That night, Oikawa laughed and laughed and laughed, in direct proportion with Iwaizumi’s blush, and when the restaurant closed and they were kicked out they were all out of breath and Hanamaki had pushed a fluorescent green hat with antennas on top on Tooru’s head and he was still going around with that thing when they hit the road.  _Literally._

“Okay, time to go to bed,” Matsukawa declared when Hanamaki almost tripped and smashed his face against the sidewalk.

“Mattsun, so reliable,” Oikawa giggled, but sure enough he was tired too and soon they were going separate ways, losing Hanamaki and Matsukawa at a traffic lamp and finally arriving together in front of Iwaizumi’s entrance door.

Iwaizumi didn’t stop though, and with a simple wave of his hand he had Oikawa trotting after him toward his own house. “I’m staying over, your mom invited me when we came to get you.”

“ _Kidnap me_ , Iwa-cha, you came to  _kidnap me_!” he corrected, but he smiled.

Going to the cinema, hanging out, sharing facts about their old teammates had made him so happy he felt ten pounds lighter than that morning - and it meant a lot considering how much they stuffed themselves with -, but having a sleepover with Iwaizumi while bickering and all had a different taste, softer and sweeter but also bitter in the end, because when morning came it was all back to square one. Oikawa knew he was being a coward, keeping such a big secret from his best friend - and doing such a poor job at it -, but he couldn’t help the irrational fear he had running in his veins every time he thought about spilling the bean.

He skipped happily, anyway, and passed Iwaizumi to hide his expression and open the entrance gate without ringing the doorbell. It was past three in the morning, waking up his mom didn’t sound like the greatest of the plans.

The key turned with a little tingling sound, the lock snapped open with a dry clack and Oikawa jerked with a squeak as a loud clap filled the air.

He stood -  _far too straight for a man that had been head over heels for his male best friend for years_ , commented Makki’s voice in his head -, with his mouth open, gaping, for long enough for Iwaizumi to pass him and enter his garden as if it was also his house - it kinda was -.

Oikawa looked at his smug smile and he flushed bright red, his ass still tingling there where Hajime had slapped him,  _hard._

“Iwa-chan, that hurt!” he tried to say, forcing himself to look as normal as possible and not to run his hand to the offended part, wondering if he could find his best friend’s handprint there on his skin.  _Focus, Tooru, really!_  “You brutish spiker should keep in mind your strength!”

“I did. I hit it as if I was spiking a ball in your face.”

“MEAN!”

Oikawa heard the gate clanging behind him as Iwaizumi jumped on him, a hand on his mouth to shut his yell up, and he found himself pressed between the cold iron bars that reached his waist and the spiker’s sturdy body.  _I didn’t do anything to deserve all this torture_ , he thought as his ass burned a bit more at the pressure on the offended skin.

“Are you really an idiot?” Hajime hissed, apparently untouched by the closure. “Do you want to wake up the whole neighborhood?”

Oikawa wasn’t sure how he was supposed to answer with a hand pressed harshly against his lips, so he rolled his eyes and muttered something against his friend’s palm. Iwaizumi looked at him in horror when he kept on chattering incomprehensibly for more than thirty seconds.

“What do I have to do to shut you up?!” he groaned finally, defeated, letting his head fall on Oikawa’s shoulder.

Now, if someone planned on letting go of someone else, they should give at least a bit of a signal. Oikawa was sure that it was somewhere in the Rulebook of the Good Kidnapper, so he wasn’t expecting Iwaizumi to suddenly release his mouth as he laughed and said “Kiss me”.

But he did and those two words filled the hair freezing them both.

_Oh. Fuck. Think Tooru, think!_

Unable to do so, he kept on laughing. “Joking, Iwa-chan!”  _Be normal, be casual, don’t sound forced,_  “I wouldn’t steal your precious first kiss, even if you’re getting old!”

Iwaizumi pulled back from him and Tooru put up a smile, the brightest he could. He tried to push himself forward and move to the house door, but Hajime’s frame was firm and unmovable in front of him. “Uh, Iwa-chan?”

He was frowning, but not in the usual grumpy way. It was deeper, like he was thinking hard about something, with the same expression he used to wear when they were studying maths together before a test. He was adorable and Oikawa had almost no self-restrain left.

So, Tooru opened his mouth,  _“Don’t push your brain too hard, Iwa-chan, it will break!”_  ready on his tongue tip, but then there was a whistle of wind and on his tongue stood another.

He melted. There wasn’t even a second of hesitation, because the moment his body registered Hajime’s taste it just loosened up completely, embracing the other promptly the way it seemed to have been programmed to do since the very first day. He moved his hands on Iwaizumi’s waist, wrapping his fingers into his belt as if looking for something to hold on to, and his cheeks grew even hotter under the palms he felt laying on them.

Iwaizumi’s kiss was amazingly gentle considering how strong and brutal he was during the day.

Oikawa’s kiss was amazingly clumsy considering how much of a flirt he was during the day.

It lasted, though. Long enough for the both of them to be breathless when they pulled apart, and when it happened Oikawa’s eyes were shining.

Then Iwaizumi head-butted him. Hard.

“OUCH! IWA-CHAN!”

“Stop shouting!”

“ _Iwa-chan!_ ” Oikawa hissed, hands pressed on his forehead and tears in his sharpened eyes. “Why did you do that?!”

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes, muttering a clear “Why did I have to fall for such an idiot?” that Tooru’s brain refused to process for fear of emotional overload. Slowly, the spiker laid his hands on Tooru’s cheeks against and glared at him.

“You dumbass know I can call bullshit on your fake smiles, so why do you still try?” he asked and Oikawa pouted, trying to aver his eyes as if it could hide his blush, “I’m not  _that dense_  not to see that you liked touching my butt, Shittykawa. You were crappy at hiding it. And even more at hiding how you liked me touching yours.”

_That_  was embarrassing. “Iwa-chan, don’t you know it’s rude to brag?” he tired, but Iwaizumi just arched a brow at him.

“I never said I didn’t like it too, and besides, you’re  _always_  bragging,” he pointed out, earning himself completely the sticked-out tongue Tooru showed him.

They both rolled their eyes now, but when they stopped they smiled. And laughed, loud and free.

“S-Shut up! We’ll wake your mom,” Iwaizumi tried to say, but Tooru just hugged him and kept on laughing.

“Let her,” he giggled, sniffing deeply on the other’s shirt. “She could throw us a party, after all this time.”

“You were pining too, uh?” Hajime asked, fondness in his voice, as he ran a hand through Oikawa’s strands.

“So, so,  _so hard_ , Iwa-chan! You’ve been so mean to me! Your denseness equals cruelty, you know?!”

“Yeah, whatever,” he chuckled and Tooru laughed again because the movement of Hajime’s shoulders made him shook like there was an earthquake. “Hey, Shittikawa?”

“Iwa-chan, you cannot use that nickname on me  _now_!”

“Do you want me to punch you?!” 

Oikawa pouted, but turned his face to press it against Iwaizumi’s neck and muttered: “What?”

“Happy Birthday.”

He barely got to lift his head before having Iwaizumi’s lips back on his.

 

 

* * *

 

**BONUS:**

“Hey, Tooru?”

“Yes?”

“You’re only getting one present from here on, for your birthday and our anniversary together.”

Oikawa’s head shot up. “Not fair! Iwa-chan, this is bullying! You’re not allowed to bully your boyfriend!”

“Uh? Then let’s break up, I’m not going to stop bullying you.”

“SO MEAN!”

“OIKAWA TOORU AND IWAIZUMI HAJIME, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA OF WHAT TIME IS IT?!”

**Author's Note:**

> Whatever. I knew that trying my hand out at Haikyuu!! for the first time in a birthday fic wasn't a great idea, but...yeah. I wanted a kidnapped Oikawa being carried around the city. And a lot of IwaOi kisses.
> 
> So... Here we are? Not sure how this is, really, I just wanted to contribute to Oikawa's birthday ^^"
> 
> I'll try to write some more Haikyuu!! in the future, but for now this is all I have. In the meanwhile, check out my Tumblr at [Agap](http://agapantoblu.tumblr.com)!
> 
> See you!


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